Office Jokes And Humor

The world is divided into two groups. There are those who know, and those who don't know. Those who know are no problem. Those who don't know are also in two groups. One is those who don't know and know they don't know. Well, they can learn! But then, there are those who don't know, and don't know they don't know - they become managers.

Two friends were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the manager fire you?"
Replied the second, "Well, you know how a manager is always standing around and watching others do the work. My manager got jealous because people started thinking I was the manager."

Fred: How did it go when you asked the boss for a salary increase?
Joe: He was just like a lamb?
Fred: What do you mean?
Joe: He said bah!

They call him the caterpillar.
Why do they call him that?
He got where he is by crawling.

Make sure that you don't become irreplaceable to your boss. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

I have a very responsible job.
In the office where I work, whenever a mistake is made, my boss tells his boss that I'm responsible for it.

Boss to his new secretary: "I need you to file these papers for me."
Secretary: Wouldn't it be easier to just trim with scissors?"

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

He who works hard, makes mistakes.
He who doesn't work, doesn't make mistakes.
He who doesn't make mistakes gets promoted.