Office Jokes And Humor - 2

This is a story about four people named everybody, somebody, anybody and nobody. There was an important job to be done and everybody was asked to do it. Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was everybody's job. Everybody thought anybody could do it but nobody realized that everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when nobody did what anybody could have done.

Rule 1: The boss is always right.
Rule 2: When the boss is wrong, refer to Rule 1.

The secretary asked the man, that just arrived to the office, wanting to meet the manager: "Are you a bussiness-collegue, a lawyer or a personal friend."
"All three of them."
"Then, according to the instructions he gave me - he's in a meeting, he's abroad for the next six months and he'll be with you in five minutes."

Six Phases of a Project:
1) Enthusiasm
2) Disillusionment
3) Panic
4) Search for the guilty
5) Punishment of the innocent
6) Praise and honors for non-participants

Why did you leave your last job?
It was something the boss said.
Was he abusive?
Not exactly.
What did he say then?
You're fired.

Why is it that your boss says your great idea is really stupid, until his boss has the same idea?

If a train station is where a train stops and a bus station is where a bus stops, what is a work station?

My boss just fired me even though he said I was just like a son to him - lazy, disrespectful and always asking for more money.

Recently a friend of mine who is the boss of a well-known company was telling me about Gerald, one of his office boys. "He's so lazy that he does nothing except get all the other staff to do his work."
"Why don't you fire him?" I asked.
"oh I'm not going to do that, I'm going to promote him to senior management since he is obviously senior management material."

Manager: We want you to leave on medical grounds.
Employee: But I'm fully fit.
Manager: I know, but we're sick of you.