Jokes And Funny Stories About Sports - 3

The top scorer of a soccer team was tragically killed in a car accident one evening. Seeing an opportunity for glory, the reserve striker went in to see the boss. "How about me taking his place" he asked.
"I'm not sure about that," said the manager, "I'll have to speak to the undertaker first."

There was a big baseball game. The night before the game, the coach told the team that they would have a 10 P.M. curfew, but the pitcher, Mel Famey, decided curfews weren't his style. He went out to a bar, where he found some members of the opposing team. With lots of dares and other macho means, they had Mel chugging quite a few there, the town being quite famous for its beer. They kept pouring it down Mel's throat.
The next day was a bad one for poor Mel. He walked one batter after another, gave up lots of hits, and his team lost by an astronomical score.So the town became more famous than ever for its beer.
It was later to be known as "The Beer That Made Mel Famey Walk Us."

John had been fishing all day with no luck. On his way home, he went to the fish market and asked the clerk, "Mister, just stand there and throw me several of your biggest bass." The clerk was puzzled. "Throw them?
What's the idea?" John replied, "I may be a bad fisherman, but I'm not a liar. I want to be able to tell my wife that I caught them."

A sensational new shortstop was being interviewed by the press.
The trouble was, the guy spoke so quietly no one could hear him.
One of them finally asked the coach, "What's the matter with him?"
"Nothing at all," replied the coach. "That's just the way the rookie mumbles."

"Can you count," asked the golfer to the caddy asking for a job.
"Yes sir," said the boy. "Can you add," asks the golfer.
"Yes sir," said the boy.
"Okay then, how much is 4 + 5 + 7 ?" "9 sir."
"Excellent, you got the job!"

Did you hear what the condemned golfer's last words to the hangman were?
"Do you mind if I have a few practice swings?"