Funny Jokes and Humor About Marriage

My wife is very dear to me - she costs me a fortune.

My wife really worships me. She puts burnt offerings in front of me three times a day.

I started wearing my wife's glasses because she wants me to see things her way.

I married Miss Right.
The trouble was that I didn't know that her first name was Always.

What is the punishment for bigamy?
Two mothers-in-law.

Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.

She wanted to marry a waiter, but he had reservations.

When a man gets married how many wives does he have?
Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer.

A disconsolate father sat watching as his daughter tried on one wedding dress after another, each one more expensive than the last. "I don't mind giving her away." he muttered to his wife. "But do I have to gift wrap her as well?"

A man who had just bought a four-seater aircraft invited a friend to join him and his wife on its initial flight. As soon as they were in the air, the owner, beaming, turned to his friend. "What I really enjoy about traveling this way," he said, "is the absolute sense of freedom it gives you. No worry about jaywalkers, no lights, no traffic jams. And best of all," he added with a wry smile, "no back-seat driving."
Suddenly his wife, who was sitting in the rear and peering out of the window, screamed, "SAM! For heaven's sake, watch out for those birds!"