Jokes And Funny Stories About Doctors - 5

Doctor, doctor, what will you give me for a sore throat?
Nothing, I don't want one.

A doctor sent a bill to his patient. Underneath the bill he wrote:
"This bill is now one year old."
Back came the reply: "Happy Birthday!"

One man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room.
A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside on my delivery truck. Where do you want them?"

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse fell and broke her leg. After the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs.
Several weeks later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady.
"Yes," he replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a banana.
Well, slip over there and peel your clothes off.

Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a terrible pain.
Why is that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm shrinking.
Well, you'll just have to be a little patient.

Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor I've become completely crazy about cricket.
How's that?
Not out!

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a swallow.
Tell her to come and see me.
I can't, she's already flown south for the winter.