British Jokes And Humour - 2

What do you do if you are driving your car in central London and you see a space man?
Park in it man.

What's Mandy short for?
Because she only has little legs.

Yesterday, a funeral service was held for a local dairy farmer. After the church service there was a creamation.

Who had a bushy tail and was executed for trying to blow up Parliament?
Guy Fox.

What did Anne Boleyn's mother say when her daughter said that she had fallen in love with Henry the eighth and was going to marry him?
That man's not worth losing your head over.

I'm going to Bury St Edmunds today.
Why? Is he dead?

A man walks into a bar and orders a drink. He notices that the only other customer in the bar is an Eskimo. He turns to the Eskimo and says, "Where are you from?"
The Eskimo replies, "I'm from Greenland."
"So, what are you doing here?"
"I'm waiting for my wife."
"So she is from around here?"
"No."
"Oh, so where is she from?"
"Alaska."
"No, there's no need to do that, it's not important."

Did you hear about the man who went to a fancy dress party with a woman draped over his shoulder and told everyone he had come as a tortoise?
When asked who was the woman on his back, he replied, "that's Michelle."

Come with me to the Casbah and I'll buy you half a pint of best cas

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