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American Humor - 1

Here is our selection of American jokes and humor.

This is page 1 of 3.

What's the difference between death and taxes?
Congress can't make death any worse than it is.

The other day this guy came up to me and asked if I wanted to buy his old '57 Chevy convertible. I thought it was a pretty good looking car and so I offered him 50 female pigs and 50 male deer.
The guy looked at me kind of crazy like and started to mutter under his breath. I asked him what's the matter, don't you want a hundred sows and bucks?

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
You get your house back, your car back, your woman back, and you get your whole life back.

You know you're a redneck if:
Your Truck has curtains, but your house doesn't.
Your porch collapses, and it kills more than seven dogs.
Every car you've ever owned is in your backyard.

"Did you ever hear of a buccaneer?"
"Well, it's too much to pay for corn!"


While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been any around here for years!"
"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely towards the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said. "The sharks got 'em."

Two Californians are stranded on a desert island. One day, a raft floats up to the island. So, they used the wood to make a hot tub.

Only in people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?
If it had four, it would be a sedan.

These two ladies were walking down the street when they came across a frog. The frog said, "Kiss me and I will turn into a handsome Texas oil man." One lady reached down, grabbed the frog and put it in her purse. The other looked at her and said, "Aren't you going to kiss that frog?" She replied, "No! A talking frog is worth a lot more money than a Texas oil man......"

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